So we all know the Bible says you can't have sex before marriage. Oh you did not know? Okay! LOL. Hey! You never know. A guy once said to me 'I think you have been brainwashed with this Christianity thing. Don't get me wrong. I am Christian too but where does it say in the Bible that you can't have sex before marriage?' Did you just gasp? So did I. I was totally gobsmacked! Really? Even non-christians know that.
Anyway, I digress. Most people know sex outside of marriage is a sin but wonder where to draw the line. If you are reading this, you probably would like to know too. I could tell you this is where you draw the line, you can do this but not that. However, it doesn't work that way I really believe that we have freedom in some things and what might might not bother one person can be a stumbling block for another person. So I'd rather not approve anything. The Bible says ' whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves.' (Romans 14:22) While the Bible clearly says no to sex, there are some things that we need to use our discretion for.
Here are some Biblical guidelines for setting boundaries:
You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who so much as looks at a woman with evil desire for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.(Matthew 5:27-28)
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8)
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice,acceptable to God (Romans 12:1)
Abstain from all appearance of evil.(1 Thessalonians 5:22)
So when you and that person are holding hands, hugging, kissing, making out, etc. What kind of thoughts are going through your mind? Are the thoughts true, honourable, right, pure, lovely and admirable? Have you already fornicated with him/her in your mind? Matthew 5:27-28 says you don't have to commit the act; just thinking about it is already a sin. I believe that whatever looks like a sin, leads to sin, abstain from it.
So I already set up boundaries, what next?
Never feel like you have to compromise your boundaries to accommodate someone else. Ever since I was a young girl, I had all these boundaries set up and I was doing pretty good until I was 19. This was probably because I never really paid attention to guys until this one Christian guitar playing guy came into my life. I had a MASSIVE crush on him. It was so ridiculous, it led to a mini panic attack. Oh my gosh! Will anyone really want to to be in a relationship with me with these boundaries? Are my boundaries too rigid? Maybe I need to relax my boundaries.
Be careful of who you surround yourself with. I remember people telling me ‘Girl, you are a joker. You’ll just stay single forever'. Some people laughed about it, these were christian lades too. I remember someone specifically saying 'it's one thing to say no to sex, but that's pushing it. No guy would agree to that'. They sowed seeds in my heart but thankfully, before those seeds could cause any real harm, I went to God. I remember saying to God ‘ Uhm, you know when I set up those boundaries and made those commitments, I was so young and You know, this is is not a sin, neither is that. I really don’t have a problem with these boundaries but I feel no guy would want to commit to that’. The Lord is so sweet and compassionate. He didn't get angry with me, He wasn't disappointed with me either. However, He didn’t say anything. I was frustrated. I needed to hear Him speak right there and then. He didn't though. Instead he led a complete stranger to come talk to me a few minutes later about how her friend had set up similar boundaries. Never said anything to the girl by the way. She just randomly told me. In her words, she 'just thought to share'. He made me realize that I was not alone.
A couple of months later, I found out about a couple who had set up really ‘strict’ boundaries during courtship. I thought some of them were so rigid but I quickly realized, that’s how many people see me too. I do not plan to go down the same road, unless of course the person I am courting has similar boundaries. Romans 15:1 says "Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves ". I mean, it might be difficult and frustrating in the beginning because like I said in my 25 random things about me post, I am a very affectionate person. However, It's all for the glory of God so I will learn to keep my hands to myself if I have to. LOL.
So what’s the point of this ‘cool/super story’?
Never feel like your standards are too high or your boundaries are too strict. Do what you think is best for you and your walk with Christ.If someone really loves you and wants to be with you, they will honour your boundaries.. I know for a fact that those people discouraging me were lying! I am now surrounded by people who don't think I am weird or 'too religious' because of my boundaries. Instead, they encourage me all the time. There are men and women who are willing to give up their own pleasures/things they have liberty in so that you do not fall.
Also, instead of thinking, 'how far is too far?' Let's concern ourselves with how close we can get to God's heart. Let everything we do be for His glory.
Also, instead of thinking, 'how far is too far?' Let's concern ourselves with how close we can get to God's heart. Let everything we do be for His glory.
<3
!!!! Loved the last line. I'm after the Father's heart.
ReplyDeleteYes! Keep pressing in bro/sis!
DeleteThank you for stopping by :)
God bless you <3
Reading this, I thank God for his grace upon my life and we should continually thank him for his grace upon our lives, for every stage we get to, is through his grace. It is easy to think that we can accomplish things by our own strength but unless we are placed in situations, we actually do not realize how little our strength is. Truth is, the flesh is weak, as in WEAK. It always seeks to gratify its cravings which are lustful and unpleasing unto God. I believe, as you said, not everything that works for one, would work for the other. Therefore, whatever we do not feel comfortable with, we shouldn't do. If our spirits do not agree with a certain thing, for example while in friendship or courtship stage, we shouldn't do it. God has set the bar so high for us through Jesus Christ, that is why we have to strive each day to be more like him. Now God is not ignorant that we are flesh and likely to make mistakes but he has also promised to be with us and strengthen us. He has a part to plan and we have ours to play too. His word says " Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the devil, and he would flee from you" (James 4:7 NIV). You first have to willingly submit to God and when you do this, the devil is aware of it and knows God is with you. He has no other choice but to flee from you. If we consciously and actively flirt with sin, justifying our actions by saying "after all I'm not going all the way or that far", we would fall. (Ephesians 2:8 NIV) says "For it is by grace you have been saved not through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God". We work not by our strength but that which has been made perfect through Jesus Christ.
ReplyDeleteAs you said we should never feel like we have to relax our standards for anyone, especially when they are standards set and grounded in Christ. God is a God of order and he would never compromise his standards for anyone. He is a holy God. If our Father who is in heaven can set standards and not compromise them for ANYONE, then that should give us enough hope and courage to do the same. You might say but God is perfect and he is not human like us, living in a broken world, where we are constantly pressured by the cares of the world but I tell you that Jesus Christ himself came in human form and he never compromised his standards for anyone or anything, not once. That which Jesus Christ did, our Father in heaven has also made the same strength and grace available to us as his children through salvation.
I just want to put it out there. If there is any guy or girl telling you, you are too rigid and need to relax your standards, there is reason to start re-thinking that person. The bible says in (Amos 3:3 NIV) "Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to do so?" You cannot walk with someone unless you are in agreement, and as children of God we should be in agreement with our Father in heaven and the things of God. Instead of beating ourselves up and feeling like we are taking things to far with our standards, ask God to send someone to you, who you wont have to re-think or comprise your standards for but encourage and support you in Christ. Then patiently wait on God. He is more than able and makes everything beautiful at his own time. We are precious to God, especially we women (no offence to the guys, i'm not trying to be sexist) and when we start seeing ourselves how God sees us, we wont have to settle for less.
Thank you for this post. May God bless us all and May he help each of us in our walk with him. In Jesus name Amen.
Sister!!!! Thank you! Thank you! For your feedback! It's like you took a peek into my draft and saw the second part of tis post! You are so spot on.May God help us and give us the grace to finish well. Hahaha! Yes yes! We are precious to God! We are His babies.. lol. Thank you so much for your feedback. I am sure everyone can learn a thing or two. God bless you Mimi <3
Delete