In Memory Of My Beautiful Baby Girl

At 6am on Thursday, July 4, 2013, I received a phone call that changed my life. 'My sweet baby sister', as I fondly called her, had succumbed to the cold hands of death after consuming poison with the intent to end her very short life. While she wasn't my biological sister, she was family.

She would have been 18  years old today.

My blog post is to address the issue of Depression and Suicide. Most people were shocked because Zainab was such a sweet girl, so bubbly and full of life. So, it didn't seem to them that such a girl would resort to committing suicide.  Some wondered what could depress a 17 year old girl so much she'd make that decision.

So many people around us are so depressed and frustrated with life but mask it so well with smiles. I am speaking from experience, when I say this. Not all depressed people wear a sign on their face that shows they aren't happy. My family had seen her the week before. She had been so excited to see my dad and had run to give him a hug. My brother spoke to her on Monday and my cousin was with her  the day before she died by suicide. No one saw it coming. Everyone just saw the beautiful Zainab who had just graduated from A levels the week before.

What's the point of this post you ask?
Everyone needs someone. If you are struggling or feeling depressed, please find someone  you can confide in. Speak up! I understand that sometimes, you feel alone and that no one understands, you feel like all hope is lost. You feel like no one will miss you if you go. You feel suicide is the answer. I promise you it's a lie. YOU are NOT alone! All HOPE is NOT lost! You WILL be missed! God knows I still miss her. My heart still aches. Suicide is NEVER the answer.

Let's be more accepting of our friends. Let's make people comfortable enough to confide in us. You never know what people are going through.

Father I pray for everyone reading this post, who might be feeling heavy, frustrated with life, depressed or suicidal.  May the peace of God that transcends human understanding envelope them right now. Embrace them with your overwhelming love Lord. Please shine your light of truth on every lie the enemy has gotten them / is trying to get them to believe. Let them know that they are loved and never alone in Jesus name. Amen.

P.S If you ever feel like talking and absolutely feel like there is no one to talk to, feel free to shoot me an email : hephzibahsplace@gmail.com.

Loving The Single Status A Bit Too Much?

I would like to apologize to everyone who has been waiting for a blog post, I am very sorry. I have about 6 posts drafted since my last post in May. Why I never got to publishing them, I do not know. For this reason, I will be making at least 3 blog entries before the year. So I could say I had 12 entries in 2013. Can we pretend I blogged once a month? No? Well, I tried :)

So I actually wrote this post in May and the title was 'Being Content in Your Singleness' but I had a conversation with my fiend in October, and decided to modify the post a bit. During our conversation, she said to me ' I think you are too comfortable being single' and we laughed. I was talking to another friend and told her what my friend had said. She agreed! I then called someone else who said 'your friends are right though'. I spoke to someone else who said 'Keep being content until you are 30 and single'.

Don't get me wrong these people weren't trying to tear me down or anything. Did the mean what they said? YES! They were just looking out for me. Some were even just messing with me. However, the first person sowed a seed, and the others watered it without any of us knowing it.  I started thinking a whole lot about it. Maybe my standards are too high? Maybe I should just relax a bit?

I really thought about it. I mean REALLY thought about and  I came to the realization that I was indeed very content being single. I honestly do not think I have missed out on anything great. I don't need any human being to make me feel complete or whole.

Please do not get me wrong. I find men attractive. (Hello Lance Gross) It's not like I have no emotions whatsoever. I get excited when I meet really attractive godly people. My face might not show it, I may even come across as uninterested, but I am totally asking God what He is saying about the man being my husband. I'm kidding. Maybe not entirely. LOL. The point is, I would like to get married someday and have a family that will love and serve the Lord but I am in no hurry.

However, I don't believe in dating randomly. I believe in courtship ('dating' with a purpose). One of the most important decisions I will ever make is who I marry, and I definitely can not mess that up. I once heard a preacher say 'The next worst thing after hell is a bad marriage'. So if I can't see myself bing married to someone, there is no point being with him. 

To every boy/girl/man/lady/woman who might be feeling pressure to date, get married, etc. You are not alone. Be content in your singleness. Enjoy it! Spend time with God! Develop a closer relationship with Christ! Improve yourself! Make great friendships! God will make things happen in His time.

So, until my 'Jesus Loving, Spirit filled, cat/dog loving, guitar playing, playful, intelligent,ambitious, kind, funny' man finds me, I will be very content in my singleness,and give all my devotion and attention to my first love, JESUS.


P.S No you don't have to like cats/dogs but you MUST play the guitar or know how to sing!  Unless you are a Lance Gross or Chris Hemsworth or John Abraham look alike ;)

Feel free to leave a contribution in the comments section below :)

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NLT)

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