Hey everyone! It's been a while! I just realized I didn't post last month. *SMH* So much for my New Year's resolutions, which by the way, have been a fail! LOL.
Moving on, there is a question I get asked all the time, and it’s 'Should ladies pursue men?'
I was at a youth event a couple of months ago, and this question was asked. As always, I seemed to be one of the very few who were against it. With the rise of the feminist movement, 21st century women are becoming more assertive and aggressive as they know what they want. Our culture tells us that women should be equally responsible for initiating a relationship - “If you know what you want, go after it.”
What I think
I think a woman should not pursue a man. I believe God created men to be hunters. However, as a woman, you can make yourself available; Ruth did with Boaz.
In a case where you are both friends, and he's flirtatious and you're not sure, you approach him to clear things up. Define the relationship. It's okay to ask, “What are we doing here? I am confused.”
You want his heart to be inclined towards you, so let him be the one to pursue. You don't want to wonder if he really would have been with you if you didn't ask him.
What if he's shy? I desire a man who would lead, yes, I said it! No, I am not insane. I one hundred percent believe a man is the head of the home, contrary to what popular culture suggests, and I am ready and willing to SUBMIT to my husband a thousand percent. So, because that's the type of man I desire, I would like to see those qualities of a leader from the onset; being shy doesn't float my boat. I think it's cute when 14 year old boys are shy to approach their crushes, but it's an outright turn off when a grown man is too shy to approach a woman, so instead, he sends her all these signals and waits for her to come to him. Personally, I see that as being weak. The way I see it, if he's not man enough to initiate the relationship, he's not man enough for me. However, fear not shy men, some women apparently love to initiate relationships, and like to wear the pants in a relationship. So, don't worry about being forever alone. LOL.
What the Bible says
Proverbs 18:22 says, “The man who finds a wife, finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” (NLT); most translations say, “…he finds a good thing”, but I like how the NLT puts it; it refers to her as a treasure. I am not a thing, except you were referring to me as a “good, pretty young thing”. Please don't judge me, LOL. Anyway, the issue isn't what the woman is referred to as, but that it clearly states that the man FINDS his wife. The woman doesn't find the man. The man goes after the woman, but it is okay to let him know you are available. If someone is looking for something, it's okay to signify you might have what they are looking for, but do not go running after them with your offer. Ladies, position yourself to be found!
What if God has told the woman who her husband is? Well, first of all, CONGRATULATIONS! However, my position remains the same. I don't believe God has told you, so you can tell the man; unless of course, he approached you initially, and you both decided to pray about it. If God tells you, I would say, “A woman who has received revelation about her future husband, should keep praying and ask God to make it known to the man.” If you're not friends, become his friend. There is nothing wrong with that.
Final words
Dear women, it’s okay to want to be pursued; it doesn't make you the weaker gender.
Please, if a man approaches you, and you are not interested, please respectfully let him know.
However, please, look down on no one. It takes a lot of courage for a man to walk up to a lady to ask her out. There is also no need to go about telling all your friends he tried to pursue you.
Dear men, please stop waiting around and hiding behind spiritual lingo, like ‘I am still praying’.
The Bible says, “He who FINDS a wife”, not “He whose wife is dropped in his lap”.
Therefore, please step up to the plate! Man up! Make a move and stop being scared of rejection. Rejection is part of life.
P.S I would just like to say that while I firmly believe a man should initiate a relationship, we cannot overlook God's role in it, but that's a discussion for another post :)
Love you!
