Hey everyone :)
Today, I am going to be blogging about SUBMISSION! This is a conversation I have had so many times and people's responses are usually the same "Oh gosh, no! I hope your husband won't walk all over you". "I pity you, your husband will just turn you into a doormat." One girl even started calling me "Mrs Submissive" LOL.
Before we go any further, I would like to say I am referring to submission in a Christian marriage. Let that be at the back of your mind as you read this post :)
Submission has become such an ugly word, it makes me sad. People have gotten submission in marriage so wrong. Submission is not being a doormat, having no opinions, servitude, or subservience. It is not a sign of weakness, rather it s a sign of strength. It's easy to be rebellious but it takes strength and discipline to be submissive. I do not believe that submission in this context is the same as docility.
My understanding of submission is letting the man takes the role of the leader in the family. He leads. Let that sink in for a bit. So when it comes to making major decisions, a wife should let her husband lead. *GASP* 'What if he is wrong?' This is why you need to be sure of who you are marrying. You need to trust his leading. If I am to submit to you, you had better submit to Christ. I, along with our children will follow you as you follow Christ. I need to know that you have sought God before making decisions concerning our family. Also, I would hope that my husband would consult me, and prayerfully make decisions. See that? We are partners. Yes he leads, but he confers with me and then reaches a decision, and I submit to that. Submission is about trust. You submit to your husband as unto the Lord.
The truth is, one can make you submit. You make a choice to submit. Just like no one can make you respect them. If you have to tell someone to submit to you, there might be a problem. Just like you can't tell someone you must respect me, you can't say 'you must submit to me'.
My mother, God bless her, is my example. To be honest, I don't recall my mom ever telling me "You must submit to your husband" However, in her relationship with my dad, I have seen her be submissive. Now if you know my mother, you know she is not docile, or passive. My mom is a firecracker! However, when a major decision had to be made, she always referred us to dad. Now that I am older, I realize that her asking us to go ask Dad meant she supported us but wanted my dad's opinion and he had the final say. She obviously could influence his decisions but she ultimately left the decision making to him. Sometimes, he would say no,and she would back him up. However, she would go talk to him and he would change his mind. However, if mum said no, then dad was definitely backing her up and saying no too. So I guess, ultimately, mum held the cards. LOL.
What about him? Why should he make major decisions? Shouldn't he submit? Why should he have it so easy?
Men, submission doesn't me your wife is a doormat, or someone to be controlled. Submission doesn't give you the right to hit your wife, or rape your wife. I once had a conversation with a young man who justified raping his wife by saying he is the leader and God expects his wife to submit to him. Oh and according to him, there is no such thing as raping your wife because she is yours. Say what now????? So ridiculous.
You are a team, and with teams, you sometimes have a team leader. Now the team leader doesn't go about making decisions anyhow without speaking to the team members first, and usually, when they differ in opinion, a good team lead would compromise. However, he/she still makes the final call. Another example would be a pilot and a co-pilot. While they are both on the same team, in case of an emergency, the pilot makes the call. That's how I believe it should be in marriage. If both of you wan to lead, there will be chaos.
The Bible doesn't say the husbands should submit to their wives, but the men don't have it easy. Their mandate is way greater than ours. They have a mandate to love their wives like Christ loves the church. Christ loved so much he gave his life for the church. That's the kind of love husbands are called to have. Christ isn't about control, intimidation or manipulation!
So when people say to me "Oh gosh, no! I hope your husband won't walk all over you". "I pity you, your husband will just turn you into a doormat.", My response is, I believe in a Ephesians 5:22-25 kind of marriage. So, it's okay. God has got me :)
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:22-25)
The truth is, it's easier to submit to a man who loves you as Christ loves the church and to love a woman who submits to you. In my opinion, if you are not ready to submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage. As a man, if you are not ready to love unconditionally and selflessly, you are not ready for marriage.
P.S Dear future Husband, while I am VERY willing to submit to you, perming my hair is not up for discussion. LOL. Just kidding! (Not really)
As always, please feel free to share your opinion :)
God bless you guys!!!! <3
Hey everyone :)
Today, I am going to be blogging about SUBMISSION! This is a conversation I have had so many times and people's responses are usually the same "Oh gosh, no! I hope your husband won't walk all over you". "I pity you, your husband will just turn you into a doormat." One girl even started calling me "Mrs Submissive" LOL.
Before we go any further, I would like to say I am referring to submission in a Christian marriage. Let that be at the back of your mind as you read this post :)
Submission has become such an ugly word, it makes me sad. People have gotten submission in marriage so wrong. Submission is not being a doormat, having no opinions, servitude, or subservience. It is not a sign of weakness, rather it s a sign of strength. It's easy to be rebellious but it takes strength and discipline to be submissive. I do not believe that submission in this context is the same as docility.
My understanding of submission is letting the man takes the role of the leader in the family. He leads. Let that sink in for a bit. So when it comes to making major decisions, a wife should let her husband lead. *GASP* 'What if he is wrong?' This is why you need to be sure of who you are marrying. You need to trust his leading. If I am to submit to you, you had better submit to Christ. I, along with our children will follow you as you follow Christ. I need to know that you have sought God before making decisions concerning our family. Also, I would hope that my husband would consult me, and prayerfully make decisions. See that? We are partners. Yes he leads, but he confers with me and then reaches a decision, and I submit to that. Submission is about trust. You submit to your husband as unto the Lord.
The truth is, one can make you submit. You make a choice to submit. Just like no one can make you respect them. If you have to tell someone to submit to you, there might be a problem. Just like you can't tell someone you must respect me, you can't say 'you must submit to me'.
My mother, God bless her, is my example. To be honest, I don't recall my mom ever telling me "You must submit to your husband" However, in her relationship with my dad, I have seen her be submissive. Now if you know my mother, you know she is not docile, or passive. My mom is a firecracker! However, when a major decision had to be made, she always referred us to dad. Now that I am older, I realize that her asking us to go ask Dad meant she supported us but wanted my dad's opinion and he had the final say. She obviously could influence his decisions but she ultimately left the decision making to him. Sometimes, he would say no,and she would back him up. However, she would go talk to him and he would change his mind. However, if mum said no, then dad was definitely backing her up and saying no too. So I guess, ultimately, mum held the cards. LOL.
What about him? Why should he make major decisions? Shouldn't he submit? Why should he have it so easy?
Men, submission doesn't me your wife is a doormat, or someone to be controlled. Submission doesn't give you the right to hit your wife, or rape your wife. I once had a conversation with a young man who justified raping his wife by saying he is the leader and God expects his wife to submit to him. Oh and according to him, there is no such thing as raping your wife because she is yours. Say what now????? So ridiculous.
You are a team, and with teams, you sometimes have a team leader. Now the team leader doesn't go about making decisions anyhow without speaking to the team members first, and usually, when they differ in opinion, a good team lead would compromise. However, he/she still makes the final call. Another example would be a pilot and a co-pilot. While they are both on the same team, in case of an emergency, the pilot makes the call. That's how I believe it should be in marriage. If both of you wan to lead, there will be chaos.
The Bible doesn't say the husbands should submit to their wives, but the men don't have it easy. Their mandate is way greater than ours. They have a mandate to love their wives like Christ loves the church. Christ loved so much he gave his life for the church. That's the kind of love husbands are called to have. Christ isn't about control, intimidation or manipulation!
So when people say to me "Oh gosh, no! I hope your husband won't walk all over you". "I pity you, your husband will just turn you into a doormat.", My response is, I believe in a Ephesians 5:22-25 kind of marriage. So, it's okay. God has got me :)
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:22-25)
The truth is, it's easier to submit to a man who loves you as Christ loves the church and to love a woman who submits to you. In my opinion, if you are not ready to submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage. As a man, if you are not ready to love unconditionally and selflessly, you are not ready for marriage.
P.S Dear future Husband, while I am VERY willing to submit to you, perming my hair is not up for discussion. LOL. Just kidding! (Not really)
As always, please feel free to share your opinion :)
God bless you guys!!!! <3
