He's just not that into you!

Hello guys!

Happy New Year! Time really flew by huh?  I will do a New Year post sometime  next week :)

Today's blogpost is inspired by a message this really sweet girl who would like to be anonymous sent me. This girl REALLY likes this guy. She's liked him for quite sometime now and he seems really sweet. However, when he's around his friends, he doesn't talk to her. He hardly initiates their conversations. She would like to know why he doesn't talk to her in public and if she should ask him out since he seems to like her.

I blogged  about whether girls should ask  guys out. If you haven't read it yet, you can click right here So let's get to the other issues. Why can't he talk to you in front of his friends? Maybe he is embarrassed of you? Maybe he has a girlfriend and he's trying to make you his side chick? I honestly can't answer why he can't talk to you in front of his friends.However, you know who has the answer? He does! If i were you, I'd totally ask him.  If he can't talk to you in public, he shouldn't talk to you in private.

Just a side note : when a person  asks you to keep your relationship  private, please listen to the warning bells. I am obviously not saying you should post everything about your relationship on Faebook/Twitter/Instagram etc. However, you should be able to tell people you are in a relationship with him/her.

I know you said he seems to like you but that's not enough. You can't just assume he likes you. He needs to express that in words to you. Maybe that's just me but I am not a mind reader so unless someone expressly tells me how they feel, I make no assumptions. So maybe he is just not that into you. I am not trying to be mean here. I have been in your shoes before.

I used to have a crush on this guy. He was so sweet, charming and really good looking.  He very nice to me, he made me laugh a lot, and we would chat for hours and flirt back and forth. We talked very often until I realized that I was the one who initiated our conversations 80%of the time. It wasn't good enough for me, so I decided I was going to stop messaging him first. He did say he liked me, but it didn't mean anything to me because I really believe people make time for what's important to them. I think he got the message, because he started messaging me to say hello.  By the time he got the memo, I was over my crush. LOL I am not saying he always has to initiate the conversation, I am saying it should be both ways.

This applies to friendships as well. I used to have A LOT of 'friends' until I noticed  that I was the one who put in the work in most of the friendships. I realized that without me messaging or calling, there was zero communication. So I stopped initiating conversations and that was the end of our friendship. I am not saying they were bad people. Some of them truly regarded me as their friend, but  took our friendship for granted and just got comfortable with me being the one reaching out all the time. Friendship is a two way street. Like I said before, people make time for what is important to them.

"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option'' - Maya Angelou

This is just my opinion, and just like a belly button, everyone has one. So feel free to share yours in the comment section below.

P.S You can write me at hephzibahsplace@gmail.com

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